I swear, I'm not going to be graphic in this post..but I just had to vent a little.
So we have all the doors locked in our house, except Angry Toddler's room. AT likes to get into things, so we have to lock the doors to protect all of us. We put the keys on the door frame above the door.
So I needed to use the bathroom. I secretly tip toe to our bedroom, open the door and jump in, closing the door behind me as fast as I can. I can hear AT running down the hall, screaming, "Momma, Mommy". I am safe behind the bedroom door. So I walk into the bathroom, I realize ugh no toilet paper. I then look in the linen closet, no spare rolls. Ugh, which means I need to get some supplies from the garage.
I then leave our bedroom, locking the door safely behind me. I sneak into the garage. I look in the cabinet, no toilet paper, but we have like 15 rolls of paper towels... This is why I hate going to the grocery store, I'm always forgetting something...
So now, I have to break into AT's bathroom, I walk to the door, and he comes running down the hall, "Wash hands, wash hands, go potty." If I let him into the bathroom, I know it will be a 30 minute visit, consisting of stripping down his clothes, sitting on toilet, flushing toilet, washing hands, trying to climb into sink, re-diapering, re-dressing.. I don't want any part of that.
So I did the smart mommy thing. I blocked him with my leg. That's right, the thigh in front of the chest block. I reached up and grabbed the toilet paper. Yea, that's right, I reached up, cause we put it on top of the medicine cabinet, so AT can't throw the whole roll in the toilet. Wow, that was quite the run-on sentence.
So anyway, I proceed to lock the door behind me, and run to our bedroom. I close the door behind me and rejoice, because I finally get to go pee.
Yes, it took 30 minutes for me to go to the bathroom.